Confessions of a Teenage Porn Star
by girl-in-oslo
Summary: Or Why Puck Needs a Shower and a Snack Before Bed
1. Chapter 1

Title: Confessions of a Teenage Porn Star (Or Why Puck Needs a Shower and a Snack Before Bed)

Author: xxtransitionxx  
Fandom: Glee

Genre: Het  
Word Count: 503  
Rating: M – for Puck's dirty mind  
Pairing: Puck/Rachel  
Summary: It's not like he likes her or anything

Disclaimer: Not mine, never was.

It's not like he likes her or anything.

As a matter of fact he kinda hates her guts.

She's just so darn… peppy.

Yeah so that's totally why he spills his milkshake all over her.

It has nothing to do with the fact that she keeps her change of clothes in the stage wardrobes.

Which don't lock by the way.

Nothing what so ever.

So he may have walked by there while she was changing… once.

Okay fine, more than once, but that doesn't mean anything.

Really it doesn't. It's not like he noticed that her eyes were kinda shiny or whatever.

So anyway…

And her hair is like freakishly shiny.

Do you notice it to?

It should be like wrong to use all that conditioner or whatever.

It totally smells like strawberries. Witch is strange because she uses a raspberry flavoured lip-gloss, or at least is smells like raspberries, it's not like he pays any attention.

So okay she might have a banging body like it totally rocks and he's not only saying that because he saw her boobs when she was changing her shirt.

Cause you know she wears those short skirts to school all the time and her legs reach like fucking forever.

Okay so he would totally screw her.

Maybe more than once.

And he has this dream… anyway it's not like he wants her to be his girlfriend or anything.

He's just… He's a man damnit and its totally acceptable for fantasize about those little knee socks wrapped around his waist.

And that time he woke up with her name on his lips that was just a onetime thing.

And that dream involved her hair band doing some very kinky stuff.

She's kinda short.

He figures that for her to be the right height be could put her up on the teacher's desk and pull those white cotton panties; that she flashes every time he knocks her over, down her legs.

He notices those a lot.

Sometimes he spills water on her because she never brings a second skirt to school and he can just see the outline of those virginal white panties for the next period which is why he always does it before algebra when he sits behind her.

Fuck it.

He needs a shower.

He wonders what she looks like naked. Like totally naked.

She doesn't shave. Like down there. Some girls do but not her.

He wonders if she trims it or something.

He wonders if she would taste like raspberries.

You know what they se about geeks. They are like all shy and virginal at first but totally freaky in the sack.

Its not that he wants her to be totally freaky.

Like Mrs. Morrison. She it really freaky and wants her to tie her up and shit.

Gleek girl is kinda bossy. She would probably freak totally out if he spanked her. She has a really nice ass though. Like a peach. All soft and golden and shit.

Now he's hungry.

Fuck.


	2. 2

Title: Confessions of a Teenage Porn Star (Or Why Puck Does Delinquent Shit and The Righteous Brothers Are Total Pervs)  
Author: xxtransitionxx  
Fandom: Glee  
Genre: Het  
Word Count: 543  
Rating: M  
Pairing: Puck/Rachel  
Summary: It's not like he likes her or anything  
Disclaimer: Not mine  
Spoilers through 1x08 So this just kinda popped in to my head. And demanded being written.

He doesn't care that Rachel Berry wants them to stay friends… He really, really doesn't.

Cause dude, She's Rachel Berry.

And when she helped him clean up after that slushy and sat down on his lap. That was totally not a hard on.

So yeah, Rachel Berry is a closed case. Or closet case. Whatever.

Cause he totally hated it when they were like together. Cause she talks like all the time, about this weird random stuff that no one cares about.

And he doesn't care. Not one bit.

And he's gonna prove it.

Tomorrow he's gonna throw the biggest fucking slushy in her face.

And if she like cries and shit he won't care.

///

Okay fine, so he didn't throw that slushy at her, but what the hell he was just thirsty.

So what if he doesn't like cherry. He was really fucking thirsty.

And he was totally not checking her out in history. It's not his fault that she sits right in front of him. He was only like resting his eyes and shit.

He doesn't like her. And they are not friends. Ever.

And that thing she did in glee when Mr. Shue gave her a new solo. That little happy skip.

Totally not cute.

And he's gonna delete her from his phone list and friends list as soon as he gets home. But than he might need her number and email for glee so he might not, but that doesn't mean anything.

Because he totally don't like her.

///

That comment on her MySpace video. Totally didn't mean anything.

Seriously.

He just liked the song.

Cause even though she is really fucking annoying she kinda good voice.

And who doesn't like "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'"?

And when she sang "I get down on my knees for you" its not like he pictured it in his head or anything.

And even if he did it was only for like a spit second and he's a teenage boy so its not like its his fault or anything.

Totally her fault, cause that's a really pervy line.

And she would probably suck at it anyway…

///

So he gave her a ride home. But dude, her car had a flat and his mom would be like totally pissed if he ever left a girl like stranded and shit.

And he might have said shit like we can still be friends. But that's just because their in glee together and shit. It's not like he actually wants to be her friend. Cause she is still totally annoying.

And when she told that totally boring story about her puppy he only laughed cause it was so lame. Cause she's not funny at all.

And that whole thing about offering to pick her up in the morning, that was just because they are kinda friendly now.

In a totally not friends only team mates kinda way.

And dude she had a fucking flat how was he to know he would be the only one left after practice just because he kinda moved her bag behind the door. It was totally in the way standing on the floor where he could trip over it.

And how could he have known she had a flat…

Really.


End file.
